Steal or Deal??

There must have been something in the water recently. I’ve heard the following three times within the past ten days: “I want to get a steal!” Always in the context of finding and purchasing a new home and spoken by people who aren’t usually that aggressive or financially strapped.
There’s just one problem with “getting a steal” when buying a home, land, ranch or other property. Someone wins (the “stealer”) and someone loses (the “stolen from”). Transactions become a search for an edge in a competition instead of a search for a home. And oftentimes the deal doesn’t turn out to be quite the “steal” someone thought. I’ve seen transactions fall apart when one party begins to sense they are becoming more a victim than a seller (or buyer).
The definition of “fair market value” is what two parties, acting at “arms length” (i.e. they have no pressures or incentives other than the desire to buy and sell), agree on price and terms. But both parties have to come to the same agreed upon set of terms. Sometimes one party has a personal opinion of market value that isn’t substantiated in reality as determined by recent comparable sales. In these cases, the two parties usually don’t reach an agreement and no sale results (and no one gets a “steal” either!)
I actually run from potential clients wanting a “steal”. I’d rather shoot for a win-win in negotiations between buyers and sellers. In a win-win scenario, no one gets a “steal” but both parties can get a good, or even great, deal and both can walk away eminently satisfied. In these cases, both sides believe they got FAIR market value for their home or their money. I’ve found usually what one party considers a “steal” is just a few percent (or less) different from the “fair market value”. When the full costs to purchase or of ownership are calculated over a reasonable period of time, the difference between a “steal” and a “deal” usually melts into insignificance. When a transaction fails because of a monetary difference that is small in comparison with the happiness and satisfaction one could get through ownership of a property, or the benefits one could get from accessing the equity built up in a property over time, both sides lose. It’s just that the side seeking a "steal" will continue to lose, missing out on property after property (or sale after sale); while the side working to get a fair deal will eventually get their reward.